It is a test, a test to see if I've become a better person...at least, that's how I choose to interpret it.
My last post might have seemed a little down and melancholy, but fear not, I am in the process of getting back in the flow of things. I had to take a step back and really think about the goings-on. (I guess I should say what happened, I really don't care if certain people directly concerned with this event read this: what of it? I have the liberty to write what I want.) Long story short, the former-love-of-my-life just announced his engagement on Sunday. You might recall, if you've gone through my posts from last Fall, (particularly this post), he found a new love and I was left with a broken heart but a new vision of sorts. A few things about this new girl irked me: she has one eye smaller than the other, and among other things, she's an accountant. (Don't even get me started on why I don't like accountants...)
Anyway, I scolded myself for hating on this girl, I mean, come on Euni, you don't even know her! She might be the nicest and coolest girl ever, if I didn't know the former-love-of-my-life, we might have even been the bestest of friends! (Yeah, I don't think so.)
ANYWAY, I had to really think about what was going on in my life. This bit of engagement news was not really about my still being in love with him, but rather a wound to my ego, my pride. I mean, really?? I'm not the prettiest girl in the world (far from it!), but I'm (superficial I know) definitely easier on the eyes than her. Also, I'm sarcastic and enjoy very dry humor. And I'm an economist, I don't dwell on just nominal subjects (in the field and in life). And we did have some pretty great and memorable conversations (about all kinds of things). But whatever, I remembered how he sometimes underestimated me, my intellectual, emotional, and physical abilities. Ultimately, I do not want to live life with someone who constantly underestimates me.
And you know what? I have had the pleasure of meeting a pretty amazing guy, and while we are busy with our own things and we don't always agree about what music is better and why, he always succeeds in making me smile (if not laugh). I don't know and don't care what happens to us, but I'm just enjoying everything that comes our way.
So yes, this engagement is a test. Just a little blip and distraction from what I really care about in life. I think I pass this test, don't you agree?