"Oh right, that's why friends shouldn't date!"

I've been doing better, post-breakup, but there are a few things I miss. I promise this is one of the last posts on the subject (I still plan on sharing my breakup-getting over it-playlist, which should be helpful if I ever go through this stuff again), and it's one of those things that I just have to share on teenytinytidbits, to kinda keep it secret and let whoever reads this read it.

As you might guess from the title, I've been dealing with the consequences of being romantically involved with a friend. He was (is) a good guy, and while he claimed that he wanted to remain friends, he hasn't lived up to that friendship anymore. And that just kills me. We had several things in common, among them my favorite things in the world: Arcade Fire, Blue Moon, and math. Silly, right?

Yup, I fell in love with him at the same time I was falling in love with Arcade Fire, and it all coincidentally developed my love for Blue Moon and math. It's so weird, it feels like now that we aren't dating, these things which I still enjoy dearly make me feel like the custodial parent. Kind of like he gave up talking about or enjoying these things (publicly), giving me full custody of these quirky bonds.

I'm obviously not going to stop listening to Arcade Fire or studying math, and I most certainly won't stop enjoying Blue Moon when the occasion calls for it, but I can't keep from feeling slightly wistful and like something's amiss when I encounter these things.

I just wish we could still hang out and share these pleasures together. Learn from the things we went through so we could have a stronger friendship. But I guess I can't really do anything else about it, if he's just becoming another distant memory.

In happier news, God willing, I'll get through this tough school week and enjoy a much deserved Spring Break, and by enjoy, I mean I get to work-work and then finish my Transfer Pricing paper. Woohooooooo! Things should be getting better from here. :)

Tuesday Tunesday: Une Année Sans Lumière

Hey, it's Tuesday, and I'm taking a tiny break from studying for "Mathematical Economics," which gives me good reason to share another song with y'all. It might be no surprise, but it is another Arcade Fire song, one that has lately made me feel oddly at peace with the goings-on around me.

Now, I don't know all the lyrics and background information to this song, but it does bring to mind Plato's Allegory of the Cave...maybe I'm thinking too much into it hahaha. Oh yeah, and it has a bit of French in it too (which I don't know how to speak/read/write!) Enjoy!



A lot can happen in a matter of days (well, if I want to stretch out the time span, a couple of weeks), and I've reached a fork in the road (so to speak), and I'm indifferent between the two [basic] choices (and consequently the two potential outcomes). On the one hand I could have affection and more time invested with the guy I care about; on the other, there would be no need for me to further develop my feelings for that same guy. Obviously I'd much rather not even dwell on this little situation, and as the days progress I'm leaning more and more towards not seeing him (exclusively, romantically, whatever) and just moving on.

My relapse (on dwelling on the former-love-of-my-life) has nothing to do with my current thoughts, but I think I might have mentioned it here before: if I had already fought with all my might for the [former-]love-of-my-life, why should I even fight for this new guy (when I don't even know if he's anything special)?

It sounds awful, I know, but sometimes we just have to face reality and make decisions that will, in the long-run, be the best decisions for all of us. I wouldn't mind, of course, taking our relationship to the next level (gosh that phrasing sounds so trite and annoying), but only if I can trust his sincerity and supposed affections for me. I dunno, with school and work and all the other stuff in between, y'all might agree that I should just let this situation go. How about I just decide to not think about this stuff for the rest of the week (at least)? We'll go from there.

Here's to hoping for more interesting and happier things for the rest of the week! :)

Tuesday Tunesday: Sounds Like Hallelujah

Wow, another Tuesday, another music-sharing post. After thinking about it, I realize that my 150th post was very anticlimactic. It was poorly and rashly written, but I'm not gonna change it! :)

Instead, I will use it as a benchmark of sorts, you know, if I'm ever working on a future post and I start thinking it needs improvement, I'll just compare it to the 150th post. Yup, I do what I want!

Anyway, maybe y'all have heard of Spotify, maybe you haven't. In any case, y'all should give it a try! It's kind of like Pandora, only better, because you can actually listen to one particular artist/band/whatever, as well as listen to radio stations based on the artist/band/whatever. I'm obviously a big fan of Arcade Fire, Wilco, and lately, The Lumineers; and while listening to the stations based on them I've been exposed to other artists and bands I never paid attention to before, one example being The Head and The Heart. I am now smitten with them, and the fact that they are from Seattle makes it even more clear that I need to pack up my things and move on over to my "real home." Oh, I haven't mentioned it? I can feel it in my heart, my soul, that Seattle is where I'm supposed to be, for so many reasons it's not even funny. I haven't visited it before, but I just know that Seattle is my Manifest Destiny. I'll have to postpone my permanent move for at least two years (this thing called grad school is getting in the way), but I do intend to visit this beautiful city early next year, so I can leave my heart in a better place than New York City.

Anyway, in the meantime, I have this amazing music to keep me connected to Seattle. One of the songs that really stands out to me at the moment is this one (Sounds Like Hallelujah):


By now y'all might have guessed that I'm very biased towards folksy indie music, especially when the music is performed by a really good combination of people and instruments. I hope y'all enjoyed it too, I just know I'm really glad I've finally encountered these guys.

I'm feeling better today, by the way. I took my final exam for Calculus yesterday evening, and now I get to look forward to teaching myself Linear Algebra before I start grad school in January! So much fun, right? At least I already purchased a book and accompanying solution manual so I really don't have an excuse not to study...

Here's to an awesome rest of the year! :)

Tuesday Tunesday: My Body Is A Cage

Source: last.fm via ≪≫≪ L I A N N A on Pinterest

It's been too long since I've shared a song on either a Monday or Tuesday---I've completely neglected keeping at least one constant on teenytinytidbits...but that drought ends today. Prepare to quench your thirst with this amazing song by Arcade Fire (My Body Is A Cage, from the album, Neon Bible); I think the album as a whole is very underrated and often overlooked compared to their other albums. I know I certainly paid little attention to Neon Bible, but lately I've been thirsting for this album to play over and over again.



Y'all don't have to really listen to the song or whatever, but you must admit that these guys work really well together. The end product of their passion and work just leaves me breathless everytime. If they come anywhere near me in the near future, I will do whatever I can to see them perform live, that's for sure!