Birthday Post!

Happy birthday to meeeee. Wheeeeee.

So I've been 25 years old for a week and one day now, and I don't feel any different really...25 seems so strange a concept to me: it's right in the middle of your 20s, the truest quarterlife-crisis number, the year when you can rent a car and have lower car insurance and stuff.

Hmph, I should rent a car.

This post should be about my birthday, the anniversary of my birth, the number of times I've revolved around the sun completely. 25. In three more 25-year segments I'll be 100. If I were a coin, I'd be 1/4 of a dollar. Why the comparisons? Why the fractions and mathematical breakdown of an age?

The squirrel makes sense. Just keep reading.

I dunno really. But it's really quite alright. And I don't think the actual celebration that took place on my birthday serves as a foreshadowing representation of my 25th year as a whole. [Does that sentence even make sense?] Anyway, in a nutshell:

• I woke up to get ready for work (because my boss didn't approve my request for the day off.
• My mother was sick, and my younger sister was dead asleep, so nobody sang happy birthday in the morning.
• Nobody seemed to care that it was my birthday, I don't even think I cared about it.
• It was pretty rainy on my way to work, and as I made my way down the usual route, a squirrel jumped in front of my car and I killed it.
• The sudden death of the squirrel caused me to laugh and cry, simultaneously.
• Work was lame and not busy at all, hahahaha. And for the birthday lunch we had pizza. I also received a few gifts and birthday cards.
• I left work and went home. We "celebrated" my birthday by eating cake with some of my close family. Then everyone left because more storms were on their way.
• My younger sister and I drove around for a bit, just before the storms hit...a small hurrah for being a year older.

And that was it. 25. I would like to say that my birthday was amazing and stuff like that, but it wasn't. But I was okay with it. Every day for the past month-and-a-half has been amazing enough, feeling love from all different places, that I can't keep myself from smiling!

Summer's gonna be awesome.

P.S. Out of all the presents I received for my birthday, I STILL DID NOT RECEIVE A BLACK LABRADOR PUPPY!!! I guess I'll have to get one myself...one of these days BAYBAYYSSSS...one of these days.

This would be a picture of my black lab puppy...IF I HAD ONE!!!!!

"nothing you say ever makes sense"

Hiya everybody! It's been far too long since I last updated teenytinytidbits, and y'all know the reason behind my absence. It's funny how unprepared I truly was (and continue to be) for grad school, but it's all worth it; at least, it seems like it's worth it at this point in time.

I've been totally immersed in the math econ class in particular, though the last couple of weeks have been consumed by the fascinating subject of TRANSFER PRICING. It's definitely as cool as it sounds but totally not fun trying to explain what it is to my friends and family. The deeper I delve into my studies, the crazier it seems that nobody else in my close circle of loved ones understands what the hell I'm talking about. Yup, I'm becoming that weirdo family member, the one who never seems like she's completely there-there...lately, my Potato Cousin enjoys the following quip about me: "We love you because nothing you say ever makes sense."

Greaaaaaaat! I'll take that as a compliment, thank you very much! I'm embracing this new kind of weirdness and taking it for what it is. I can talk about stuff I'm working on, like how corporate tax rates affect where multinational entities choose to locate legal ownership of their patents and other intangible assets, and whoever is listening to me talk about it has NO idea if what I'm saying is true or just made up.

Anyway, I just turned in my first research paper and it was pretty awful, I really don't expect to get a good grade on it, but it's alright---like I said, it was my first paper. I'll just take it as a...LEARNING EXPERIENCE. :)

So yeah, I guess that's as good a tidbit as I can come up with right now. I will enjoy what remains of my tiny moment of rest. Aaaaaaaaand, here's a picture of whale cupcakes found on Pinterest, just because:

                                                            Source: feeuz.tumblr.com viaErin on Pinterest

Things I do in the office...

Well, I have zero dogs at the moment, so does that imply that all it takes is ONE dog for me to become a "crazy dog lady"? (Source.)

...to distract myself when there is no work to be done:

1. Repeat phrases in my head.

Example: in contemplating the title of this post, "things I do in the office...things I do in the office...things I do in the office..."

2. Move my head in all directions, like a bird.

3. Drink water.

4. Refill my water bottle when it is empty.

5. Go through Pinterest and laugh (sometimes too loudly), pin, repin, like, at the "humor" pins.

6. Listen to music on Spotify (regular business hours haha).

7. Think about awkward moments in my life.

Example: like when I used to wear the "slim fit" jeans in middle school, even worse that I would wear a black belt and black dress shoes with white socks along with those jeans. Or like when I unconsciously make weird faces at friends/co-workers/strangers who are not in the "super-secret-approved-Euni-list-of-people list."

8. Read the good old "Mathematics for Economists" textbook. Guaranteed oodles and oodles of fun.

9. Daydream. --- Well, we all know I do that even if there is work to be done. I think I am 75% in daydream mode, and that's not taking actual bedtime slumber into account.

10. Walk around the office, stretch, balance on one leg, pretending to be a flamingo.

Now, my distraction activities aren't just limited to the above list; I have been known to apply unnecessary amounts of chapstick, browse online for dresses, look at webcomics, play with Google maps, cut out funny pictures from the junk mail the office receives, draw and color dinosaurs, etc. Wow, when I mention all the things I do when I'm not working, my job sounds super awesome. But don't think that I neglect my work; I just that efficient that I have so much extra time on my hands.

150 and Counting

HEY YOU GUYS GUESS WHAT???

THIS IS OFFICIALLY MY 150TH POST ON TEENYTINYTIDBITS.

Source: catchmyparty.com via Catch My Party on Pinterest

It's kind of exciting really. So exciting in fact, that I had to search on Pinterest for a nice virtual cake to celebrate. Isn't it fancy??? :)

Anyway, I guess I'll take a break from my studying and share a little of what's been going on in behind the scenes of teenytinytidbits...it's been quite a roller coaster, but I think things are getting a little better. Well, that is what I'm telling myself, life has been kind of tough here and there, and as I've been exploring my inner self (my thoughts, feelings, meanings, etc.), I am beginning to realize that there are a few things I need to take care of. The most complicated and difficult thing is, I believe, the clash between who I really am and who I strive to be around my friends, co-workers, and family. I'm such an introvert, and while I've been progressing bit by bit in hanging out more with friends, there are times when I just need to recuperate, contemplate my life, alone. I'm quite reserved and prefer to hold out on talking until it really is necessary to do so.

Now, I'm not saying being an introvert is bad---I love being a reserved individual---but these past couple of weeks I've seen the downside of introversion; because I tend to keep to myself (I rarely discuss my true feelings and reactions with those I love), I may be a little late on making a new relationship work out. Rational-me says I shouldn't worry or put too much thought into this, but when I have I ever really listened to Rational-me when it comes to love?

Anyway, since the start of this lovely month of December, I have decided to go through a mini-transformation of sorts. Well, more of a reconstruction: investing time, thought, and care into myself. I'm nourishing my mind and body through reading unassigned literature, going to yoga, and giving myself things I want and deserve. The yoga has helped tremendously; as I have become physically stronger, yoga has also allowed a wave of emotions to come over me, and it's forcing me to decipher what's going on inside my mind. I am choosing to figure out what I feel and why I feel that way. I've been reading another Raymond Chandler mystery, for fun, just because! Aaaaaand, while I haven't been shopping for new clothes and stuff, I have decided to dress up every now and then for the hell of it; I like using fashion (though an amateur I bet) as an art experiment on myself; it's been fun!

And so, I guess it's kind of cool that I'm sharing all this jumbled mess on my 150th post. I know struggles lie ahead, but I'm not hiding or running away from them. Just a request, if y'all happen to read my future posts and if they seem to be too sad or depressed, or even just plain apathetic, please, PLEASE snap me out of it. I'll accept any criticism and suggestions. :)

Have a lovely start of the week!

Who Loves Jealousy?

Oh come on, we've all encountered this quaint little feeling, at some point or another. I'll be the first to admit I'm one of the most jealous people you'll ever meet. But I'm very good at hiding it.

Source: Uploaded by user via Sabrina on Pinterest

The way I see it, it's quite alright to be jealous from time to time. I can be jealous of my current lover's female friend, how witty and cute she is, but I don't really hold anything against her. Honestly I don't even know her, and if my lover decided to one day choose her over me (if that is even a conceivable thought in his mind), I would totally understand his reasoning. She's awesome. I have a feeling that she is just like me, but with added bonuses, such as: being cute, having an affinity for dancing, and being such a sociable and friendly person.

Ok, ok, so maybe I'm not giving myself enough credit for my own attributes and awesome qualities (uhm, like explaining economics, having an amazing sense of humor, and just looking pretty good when I try hahaha), but that is not the point here tonight. The point is that I'm jealous, but I only get jealous when I meet people who are slightly more awesome than myself. (There really is no way for me to not sound like superficial monster here, is there?)

Anyway, I will rarely (if ever) mention my jealousy to my lovers, because I don't ever want him to change his friendships with others because of me. I think that's lame, and it's a total turn-off when I'm expected to cut communication with my guy friends just because my lover is a little jealous. Now don't get me wrong, I like finding out that my lover is jealous. I suspect my current lover is a little jealous, but he doesn't need to be. A rule of thumb or I guess some advice from me when it comes to the strength of my affection: if I send you a random illustration, picture, witty quote, or random word...that, my lover, means you're special, and you've got nothing to worry about. :)

I apologize, dear readers, this post is pretty crappy and dumb, isn't it? You can erase these words from your minds if you want, I wouldn't blame you!

National Dictionary Day

Hi everyone! Based on a previous post last week, y'all know I finally got a fancy phone that can do all sorts of things. No, I don't mean to brag about some piece of technology that with every passing day inches closer and closer to utter obsolescence, but I do want to point out that there is a very handy and awesome app for the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

It's true. I love words. So much. I'm not always the best at using the wide range of vocabulary I possess in my head, but I do enjoy thinking about it, using these fancy words in my writing here and there. Also, when I stumble upon an unknown word, I always find the need to learn its meaning, its origin, and its evolution.

Anyway, if you have an iPhone or an Android, promptly make your way to the FREE Merriam-Webster app. You really won't regret it. There's even a "word of the day" so you can learn one new word (or remember an old word that you once learned) every single day. ALSO, it's National Dictionary Day today (in honor of Mr. Webster's birthday), so it is my pleasure to share with y'all...my TWO FAVORITE WORDS in the whole wide world (illustrated so y'all can better understand and remember these magnificent words).

1. abscond - v. to depart secretly and hide oneself

abscond (v.)

2. pariah - n. one that is despised or rejected; outcast

pariah (n.)

Pretty cool words, right?? :)

I might be back to share a song this evening...or I might not. I'm officially on vacation as soon as we shut the office down for the day. Boy, am I ready for a vacation. I have so much stuff to work on (both for fun and because I have to), but I'm excited! And by the way, I got those definitions from my oh-so-cool dictionary app, if you couldn't have guessed haha.

Have a great day!

On Second Thought, I Change My Mind

It's true, I've been thinking about the same thing over and over again all week. I had made plans to meet with a very special friend, but because of internal tensions back home, I had to cancel on him. I didn't want to cancel or anything, but I also didn't want to upset the current still-unstable ceasefire at home. (That's a looooooooong story, but I won't divulge those details anytime soon, definitely not today.)

Oh sure, I apologized via text (we never really talk on the phone...who uses cell phones to talk anyway, right?) but received no response, which usually doesn't matter to me, you know, but I dunno why it bothered me this time around.

This is how bothered I was...in my mind.

Yup, I was fretting about it, which is totally annoying; I don't like it when people feel sad about this sort of stuff, so imagine how angry I become at myself when I do this. I felt guilty about cancelling plans, I felt guilty about feeling sad, I felt angry for being sad, and I felt angry for feeling angry at being sad!!!!! It never ends with me, you know, once I start feeling "bad things" it just gets worse and worse and

w

   o

      r
      
       s

         e.

Aaaaaaaaand, if you've read any of my posts relating to heart break, sadness, or any of that gushy love stuff, then you would know the worst of the worst possible feelings and thoughts that could appear in my poor poor mind and mess me up (emotionally) completely. Yup, I remembered those feelings of rejection from the former-love-of-my-love. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

It's gross, I know. So I spiraled down and down until I started listening to sad songs that made things even worse. I didn't want to eat. I didn't want to do my hair. I didn't want to study. I didn't want to watch tv. I just wanted to stand, look off into space, and wallow in my cave of sadness.

But then...

God said, (this seems like the logical thing he would say, in my opinion), "Hey, that Euni girl has had a tough time lately. Maybe, maybe, I could bring in that beautiful Fall weather she loves so much a little sooner than expected?"

And that's what happened. The sky is once again that deep, neverending shade of pristine and true blue. A gentle cooling breeze playfully sways the trees around every so often. I hungrily breathe in the crisp air, fill up my lungs and sigh. I could seriously just sit outside all day long, alone, at peace. This natural beauty is briefly overwhelming, but truly something that keeps me going.

That little knot in my throat and heart, you know, that "heartachy" one, is still there, but I don't care anymore. There are so many beautiful and happy things out there that make me realize I shouldn't let feeling "bad things" get in my way.

Another Teeny Tiny Update

Wow it's Monday night (well, in less than half an hour it'll be Tuesday in good old Texas), and guess what? I had the funniest thing happen to me.

Well, it's not funny, and I don't like bringing this up too much because it makes me feel like I'm craving attention or whatever, when I just wanna share this story because it's strange and rare...So basically, I have class on Mondays and Wednesdays, in the evening, so my usual schedule for those days is: work, yoga, school, cereal (for dinner). Well, Monday went by alright and good, then Wednesday came around. Work, yoga, bug bite?, school, cereal. Yes, bug bite. Bug bite? Whatever, bug bites are no big deal, right? WRONG. On my short walking route to school, I felt a slight pinch on my right ankle. It must be a small piece of tree/wood or a rock that just hit my ankle, I thought, I'll check it out once I'm inside the building.

I make it inside, and guess what? It was neither woodpiece nor rock. A small circular black bulge was stuck to my right ankle. As I looked more closely at it, I realized it was a bug (an unknown type of bug at that!), and I compulsorily flicked the little monster away. No second thoughts on it whatsoever...until I got to class and realized that the bug had left a very red and puffy mark. That's when I thought of the possibility of a tick. Could a tick have attached itself to my poor ankle and stolen some of my blood?? I couldn't focus in class because I kept thinking about ticks and Lyme disease and that bullseye mark that shows up when a tick bites you.

I calmed myself down and decided the bug bite would die down and disappear by morning. ONLY NOT. In fact, not only had the bug bite become redder and puffier, but the reaction had spread throughout the top of my right foot and above my ankle too! It was a horrid sight. My right leg looked bigger than my left leg, and I was NOT cool with it.

But still, I convinced myself that it was probably nothing, and that if my foot wasn't better by Friday morning, I would go to a doctor. Hahaha, right. When I got home, my mother noticed the mutant foot, and by the time we picked up my younger sister from school, we headed straight for the emergency room.

I've visited the ER lots of times before, but never as a patient haha. I was terrified. And of course, it was busy at that time of night, so my mutant foot was last on the list of important patients (I guess strokes and broken bones are more important?). While waiting, and when finally taken to one of the exam rooms, I had the pleasure of being some sort of morbid entertainment for a couple of nurses, who marveled at the sight of my mutant foot. After another hour of waiting, the assigned doctor came in, prodded the mutant foot, and said blood would have to be drawn, to make sure there wasn't infection. One of the nurses from the earlier entertainment session came in to take my blood, five test tubes in all, all while calling me "pumpkin" and "sweetie."

Long story short (sort of), we waited another hour, doctor came back in and said the tests came back normal, but to be on the safe side he would prescribe some antibiotics. I assumed that since there was no mention of Lyme disease, there was no risk of it happening at all. We got the prescription and left by 2 in the morning.

Later during that Friday morning, I decided to do research on the antibiotics I had been prescribed, and GUESS WHAT? That antibiotic is used to fight LYME DISEASE! It was a flabbergasted moment for me: of all the people in the world, of all the things that can happen to us, I was at risk of Lyme disease! I started laughing; I felt like those people on those Mystery Diagnosis shows.

Anyway, I know I can't say with 100% certainty that it was a tick that bit me last Wednesday, or that I do in fact have Lyme disease, but like the doctor said, just to be on the safe side, I'm taking those antibiotics. I do however wish that he could've mentioned it, you know? He could've been like, "So, uhhh, the blood tests came back normal, which is good, but your description of the bug and your mutant foot's reaction leads us to believe that you could contract Lyme disease. It's a very minimal chance, but just to be on the safe side, I'm gonna prescribe these antibiotics." See how much calmer I would have been?

Oh well, my foot's better now and I can't wait to use it in all its capabilities once more! Hello yoga and hello social life! :)

Dreamin' Dancin'

It's been what...like two or so weeks...?...since I last wrote. Do I feel terrible about it? Just a little, but I've been transitioning to Fall-mode, and that means lots and lots of daydreams, singing, humming, driving, and apparently, also dancing.

Ha, not in real life in public...yet. But dancing has begun to creep into my dreams as of late. Allow me to share the weirdest dream I've had this year:

So I'm walking around with some family, headed to a public library (which as far as I know, does not exist), and blah blah blah---this part's not too important---the POINT is, leaving the library, we're walking towards our car (which is not a car we have), when I see a ruffian in a hooded robe coming closer and closer to us. My first thoughts: hmm, is it Halloween already? Let's pretend we're not scared by his hooded attire and walk away. But then...I see this miscreant pull out a crowbar and start trying to break into our car! I became upset and started running at him, ready to attack. It's at this moment that I realize I'm wearing heels but I try to ignore this little detail. The miscreant looks intimidated, drops the crowbar, and starts running away. I yell out "Yeah bastard, you better run away!" but this is a bad choice on my part, because he heads back our way. The miscreant booms "YOU WANNA FIGHT?" To which I say, "Yeah let's fight!...DANCE FIGHT!"

It's at this moment that I break out in some awkward and probably really dumb (even for dream standards) dance. And I'm humming my own beat to get some rhythm flowing. I finish my dance and then it's the miscreant's turn. He breaks out his own routine. Meanwhile, my mind is concocting a way to distract him from hurting us, and when he finishes, I say, "See? You are good at something!" And then I wake up.

This is how I felt in my dream...(source via)

But that's not all. Right before I woke up this morning, I recall the following:

I'm in my childhood home, in the kitchen, and I tell my younger sister to video record me while I twirl around in the air like some sort of ballerina. She obeys and when I'm done twirling, I see the recording. I'm like a magical twirler, because I seriously propel myself in the air and stay afloat twirling for what seems a really long time. Then my grandmother (who is a very small woman) does it too!! And all I can say to myself is "Wow, must be genetic!"

Yup, now I feel like dancing. Anything really, even though I'm a terrible dancer...though I will admit, when I consciously fully decide to dance ridiculously, that's when everyone else think I'm doing a good job. Whatever, it still feels weird to me!

Tuesday Tunesday: Wanted Dead or Alive

Happy Tuesday Tunesday! Yesterday was the start of a seemingly busy semester (or, next three months of my life), so I completely neglected Music Monday. While a little disappointing, it wasn't neglected in vain, I hope: both my younger sister and I started classes again, and since she doesn't have her own car yet, I get drive her to school before heading to work. Then I work the full eight hours or whatever, drive to yoga, and from there finish the evening with more Calculus. Basically, I'm away from home from 7 AM to 10ish PM. WOOHOO. The good thing is that this is the schedule for just Mondays and Wednesdays, roughly for the next three-and-a-half months.

Anyway, two things that ended up relating to each other: y'all know about that crab fishing show on the Discovery Channel, Deadliest Catch, right? Of course you do. I loved watching the first few seasons, but frankly after Captain Phil (of the Cornelia Marie, my favorite vessel?) died, I lost almost all interest in the series. Kinda sad, really. The song below, which until this past Sunday was nameless to me, is the intro theme song to this beloved series. And on a semi-related (well, really related) note, through Google's magical powers I found out what this song was called and who sang (sings) it (my research caused by my rather curious-while-drinking-...apple juice of course...-nature). Behold, Bon Jovi's Wanted Dead or Alive.



On one last unrelated (?) note, when I awoke on Sunday morning, I noticed two perfectly aligned and small bruises just above my right knee...I wonder how they got there...