I Think Ur a Contra

So a few posts ago I mentioned I needed to resolve some issues with this guy I was seeing. After much thought and talking with some close friends, I came to terms with what I really wanted. I realized that I had genuine feelings for this friend-turned-lover, and that I didn't need to run away from my feelings.

But you know how these things go. He told me he didn't mean to lead me on, that another girl had his heart. I became upset but tried to keep calm and composed. I've been struggling, not only because of the feelings I felt, but because I didn't like how I let him get to me like this, when he was nowhere near the level that the former-love-of-my-life was. That last thing is what keeps me down most of the time.

I guess I also feel betrayed. Everything I shared was honest and sincere. And he seemed to reciprocate the honesty. I would talk about things that brighten my soul and mind (economics, politics, music, etc.), and he would appear interested and have intelligent conversations with me. And now, especially this very night, I feel like it was all an act on his part. Oh sure, he might dabble in the topics I'm studying, but he never really felt as strongly about them as I do. And while I had begun to believe that he cared about me, he was juggling dating several other girls, one of whom he is "officially" in a relationship with.

Whatever, dear. I think ur a contra. That's all I will say about you. Ever. What will happen to our friendship? I dunno, and I really don't care right now. And even though I know I didn't do anything wrong this time around, I don't know how to fight from feeling like the worst person in the world---so awful that some average-looking guy rejected me.

I know that last sentence up there is crazy talk and I need to stop. April appears to be the toughest month yet, and I just want to get through it quickly. Alone.

Music Monday: Ready, Able

It's Monday, my dears, and as I mentioned in an earlier post today, I now have a Music Monday post to share with y'all. Something kind of dreamy and laid-back, courtesy of Grizzly Bear, to set the mood for the rest of the week. It's hard to believe my sister is starting her second year of undergrad next Monday---we're getting to be soooooo old. Not that it's a bad thing, I'm rather enjoying my age at this point in time. :)


Anyway, enjoy. The music video, by the way, is quite something, no?


P.S. I just have this week to enjoy before the Math adventures begin again...wooohooo.

Music Monday: Turn On Me

Hi everybody! :) I apologize for missing last week's Music Monday, but you know how it is...I'm in the final countdown with my SUMMER OF MATH, and last week in particular I was drowning in antiderivatives and other anti-fun Calculus concepts. Oh, alright, it's not all anti-fun, but I'm really at my wits' end here. If anyone wants to talk with me about antiderivatives and stuff, I'd be happy to share my rudimentary knowledge! Riiiiiiiiiiight...

Anyway, the following song has been playing in my head and dreams for the past week or so, which obviously gives me a valid enough reason to share it with you all. Enjoy.

Music Monday: Never Had Nobody Like You

The only times I tolerate double negatives (well in this case, triple negatives) are when I'm using them colloquially for dramatic effect, or when I listen to this song by M. Ward. Orrrrr, when I'm feeling lovely. Enjoy :)

Music Monday: Breathing Underwater

Happy Music Monday [evening] to all! I can't believe I haven't purchased Metric's new album Synthetica...I really must do that within the week! It's kind of lovely and refreshing to get some new stuff from this awesome band...their last album, Fantasies, meant a lot to me (two years ago), and now that I am perfectly contently alright, it feels like Metric has joined me in the next phase of my life. Anyway, I haven't gotten a chance to listen to the entire album, but I gotta say, Breathing Underwater has instantly become my favorite. Enjoy :)

The Suburbs

Happy Music Monday! I apologize for my disappearance from teenytinytidbits; I would've written more---actually, I had planned on finally sharing my birthday-goings-on and my blurry (but nonetheless kinda cool because I can still remember fondly) pictures from the Death Cab For Cutie concert...but anyway, I never should plan things because they never turn out the way I expect them to.

Anyway, today, I'm dedicating this Music Monday to a very special, kinda creepy but pretty cool (overall) guy who I briefly loved. It's one of those ephemeral feelings, no one ever finds out about them, and then I forget about those feelings and remember them two years later. Two summers ago I was pretty crazy, but it was all good fun. While I was falling deeper and deeper into my the bottomless pit that was my "interaction/relationship" with the former-love-of-my-life, I was also talking with a few other young fellows, who eventually didn't make the cut...let's just say that this creepy but cool (overall) guy has become a still creepy but still cool (overall) friend.

So here you go, creepy but cool (overall) guy, if you happen to read this today: by Arcade Fire, The Suburbs. ;)

Music Monday: Mountain Sound

Happy Music Monday!!!

I'm ready to travel a bit, how about y'all?? :) :) :)

I heard about Of Monsters and Men when the local radio station played "Little Talks." I took a liking to that song and decided to listen to their album. Immediately fell in love with it, purchased it, and have been listening to it non-stop. Personally, today's Music Monday song is my favorite. Enjoy :)

Music Monday: Venezia

Happy Music Monday! Thought it was time for some lightheartedness again, and I was in 1980s Spanish music mood---Hombres G to be more precise. The above song is titled Venezia, and this particular song has made a home in my mind as Texas welcomes the good old (infamous?) Texas summer weather. It is hot. Very hot, and it's gonna get only hotter as summer progresses, but it's all good, because that only means that autumn comes soon after. And y'all know how much I love autumn. (A whole lot, in case you didn't know.)

Anyway, GUESS WHAT!?!?!?

I finally....FINALLY....got a BICYCLE!!! I sure as hell don't know how to ride it yet, but this evening right after I made my two-wheeled investment, we stopped by the so-called COYOTE PARK (ok, really it's called East Hill Park, but I've seen coyotes and bobcats and even DEER in and around!), and decided to have my first lesson.

Me, with the highlighter pink shorts, and my mother, with a meme face for the sake of anonymity.

Yup, I got a PURPLE bike. It was either the purple girls' bike or the TONY HAWK boys' bike---now, I'm all for gender bending, but if I'm gonna look ridiculous while learning how to ride a bike, I might as well be as girly as possible....maybe I should have gone with a Barbie bike instead...

Anyway, I made a fool of myself in front of an Indian and a white family, for about half an hour. We had issues putting the bike back into the Jeep, so my mother decided my sister and I would ride the bike and/or run back home. OH JOY.

My sister rode the bike, and I decided to jog beside her all the way home, by the way. Here's a snapshot of our route. 0.6 of a mile, that's CRAY CRAY Y'ALL!

That's a lot of running on such short notice!

Anyway, now I'm home, tired. Glad to say that I'm FINALLY on the right track to doing what I want. Hopefully my bicycle adventures will get better! :) If not, y'all will sure get to witness my mistakes hahahaha!!!

Have a great day/evening/night (or whatever time it is)!

Music Monday: It Was a Good Day

Happy Music Monday! I'd like to take a moment first to say that I feel a whole lot better after my previous post. The response I got from good people meant a lot to me and I feel a little recharged. Thanks guys!! :)

Now about today's song (Ice Cube's It Was A Good Day)...Pretty speechless when it comes to this song...

Ice Cube + pretty good Monday = who knew!?

When it comes to songs like this one, I am overcome with laughter and amazement (amazement at Ice Cube's flowing lyrics).

Enjoy.

Music Monday: What I Got

Happy Music Monday!!!! Sublime hits the spot when I'm feeling kind of down. So today I'm sharing Sublime. Pardon the redundancy.




TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY, BY THE WAY!!!! I promise I'm more excited than I appear to be, though I am a little superficially upset that this really beautiful dress from Anthropologie was not in my size. :'( I guess I'll have to look for it tomorrow (and be able to use my birthday discount!)!!!

Rolo Crossback Dress.

Happy early birthday to me, hehehehe :)

Music Monday: Tubthumping

Happy Music Monday! I finally went to the Death Cab For Cutie concert last Thursday (and it was AMAZING---and I fell in love with Benjamin Gibbard and that smooth voice of his), and so the DCFC Music Monday countdown has come to a close. I'll totally share my excitement/experience at this memorable concert later this week, but for now...

I GET KNOCKED DOWN BUT I GET UP AGAIN, diridiridiridiriDI!


Oh yes...some "Anarcho-punk" music for this lovely Monday. Ok, I'm not sharing it because it falls under this particular genre/category, nor am I sharing it because I find pleasure in getting this song stuck in people's heads for an unbearably long time, but rather because of this:




I know what you're thinking: Native American History + lacrosse + popular 1990s music??? This can only equal GREATNESS. (Hey, before y'all start thinking I'm being superficial---or whatever---with Native American History, lemme tell you, I happen to LOVE Native American---American Indian---history. After randomly selecting a history course on it, I had the best time ever learning a subject I would have otherwise never studied. Go on, ask me about something regarding their part in our American history: I'll gladly partake in some nice conversation!) Anyway, enjoy the rest of your Monday, dears.

Music Monday: Meet Me On the Equinox

Two things: I'm a terrible person, and yeah, I totally am sharing a song that was on one of the Twilight soundtracks.

First thing first, some Death Cab For Cutie (looking forward to this Thursday!!!):



Second, so you know how in my previous post I was blabbing on and on about how it was my 99th---and that my next one (the 100th) was gonna be AWESOME and PURR-FECT??? Yeah, well, like always, whenever I make plans they don't work out. SOOOOO, now awesome 100th post. Instead you get another Music Monday post. BUT...the next one---the 101st post---will be great, and definitely worth the wait and worth a read once I publish it! I promise, it'll be here by THIS Wednesday. I PROMISE!! :)

Anyway, HAPPY 100TH POST, TEENY TINY TIDBITS!

I've never read this book, but it has its purpose.

It's been enlightening being able to write and share my thoughts, struggles, and daydreams with you all. And it's been interesting (to me at least) to see how I've evolved (a bit) in my writing. I'm getting better, though there is still a long way to go. I love having a bit of consistency---through the Music Monday segments---while everything else just kind of happens as it...well, happens. I also love how having a blog has led me to stumble upon other quirky, insightful, and really just great blogs and people. You guys are all awesome! :)

I'm looking forward to the next 100 posts (AND getting to meet new people and friends)!