The BIGGEST Day of the Semester

Hi everybody!

Things have been swirling around in my life lately, and I have little time to just sit back and relax and think about everything. It's okay though, in the past two months I've finally gotten over my most recent break up and I've gotten through (ALIVE!!!) the heaviest parts of the Spring semester.

Now all that awaits is...the BIG CASE STUDY PRESENTATION. I won't bore y'all with the details (if anyone has stuck around to read my intermittent posts), but this is it! It's this group project I've been working on almost all semester, and this Thursday is the evening we present in class! Sure, the downside is that I have to miss the Lumineers' concert, but I'm trying to "keep my head up" by making it the BEST presentation ever given on the SUPER-FUN subject of Transfer Pricing.

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, we'll see how it goes.

After that presentation, I have two final exams for my other two classes and then two more papers to turn in for Transfer Pricing. And then I'll be FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

I am very happy with all the stuff I've gone through this entire semester, with life and academia and whatnot, and I am ready to embrace what's coming next!!

I can't wait till I have so much more free time again so I can write and read more blog posts and articles and books and lots of other stuff too! :D

Till next time you guys!!

P.S. That word "BIGGEST" in the title looks weird, right??

I Think Ur a Contra

So a few posts ago I mentioned I needed to resolve some issues with this guy I was seeing. After much thought and talking with some close friends, I came to terms with what I really wanted. I realized that I had genuine feelings for this friend-turned-lover, and that I didn't need to run away from my feelings.

But you know how these things go. He told me he didn't mean to lead me on, that another girl had his heart. I became upset but tried to keep calm and composed. I've been struggling, not only because of the feelings I felt, but because I didn't like how I let him get to me like this, when he was nowhere near the level that the former-love-of-my-life was. That last thing is what keeps me down most of the time.

I guess I also feel betrayed. Everything I shared was honest and sincere. And he seemed to reciprocate the honesty. I would talk about things that brighten my soul and mind (economics, politics, music, etc.), and he would appear interested and have intelligent conversations with me. And now, especially this very night, I feel like it was all an act on his part. Oh sure, he might dabble in the topics I'm studying, but he never really felt as strongly about them as I do. And while I had begun to believe that he cared about me, he was juggling dating several other girls, one of whom he is "officially" in a relationship with.

Whatever, dear. I think ur a contra. That's all I will say about you. Ever. What will happen to our friendship? I dunno, and I really don't care right now. And even though I know I didn't do anything wrong this time around, I don't know how to fight from feeling like the worst person in the world---so awful that some average-looking guy rejected me.

I know that last sentence up there is crazy talk and I need to stop. April appears to be the toughest month yet, and I just want to get through it quickly. Alone.

Too much

Hi everyone,

I'm still alive, but terribly occupied with school work and work-work. It's awful, but I keep telling myself things will clear up and I will soon be able to relax. (Ha, I know it's all illusion, I won't be able to truly relax [if that's even possible] until early May.)

Truly, it's been awful. In the course of the past two weeks, I've gone through the end of a relationship that was just about to blossom, I became very ill, and now I find myself trying to find happy endings for my friends, since I can't seem to have my own. All while keeping up with the reading assignments for my classes. :(

There's been lots of crying, frustration, anger, and just total detachment from things I used to enjoy, but I am trying my best to keep a positive outlook. Stuff like this happens, I have come to terms with the fact that I genuinely felt love and affection for a really nice guy. That was the hardest part for me, admitting I felt something. So you can imagine how horrible it was to all of a sudden be rejected by the guy I thought had felt something for me too. I honestly think there was something more to why he just ended things with me, but what can we do, right?

We're supposed to still be friends and whatever, and while I've genuinely tried to pass over this awkward phase in our friendship, he's not being as cooperative. I really don't want this to become another "brock" thing (this is what I'm calling that thing, it's not like the former-love-of-my-life reads this). But I don't know what I'll do if I see this recent ex with another girl or whatever. I don't think I can handle it, at least not for the time being.

And so, I've been distracting myself from all this ache by studying studying studying, stressing about studying, turning in homework assignments and listening to music. I've tried talking with friends, but not one of them truly understands the situation I'm in, both in my [lack of]-love life and in my academic pursuits. Remind me to laugh at all of this when this is over.

I'm sorry, you guys, this post has just been terribly sad. I'll do better on the next post.

Frogger

I had some extra time on my hands at work, so I went to XKCD and kept hitting the random button. Then I found this one:



Frogger (you should probably click on the image for a better look!)


The first time I saw this particular comic I was surrounded by such blissful memories. I should have known then that things were working out with the former-love-of-my-life, and that I could have spoken about my feelings with certainty and confidence.

He was good back then. I am trying not to be upset at myself for remembering my time with him, it's okay for me to go through little phases like these, things always get better. So bear with me, everyone, if I seem quiet and more reserved than usual, I'm just getting through this little episode.

I started grad school this week, and wow, it IS going to be tough. But I'm about 97% sure I'll be able to handle the full-time coursework along with the 40-hour work weeks...YAY LEARNING EXPERIENCES.

(I need to start writing and reading more!)

Consolidating Lotsa Posts into One

Hi everyone! Allow me to share my usual reason/excuse for the scarce posts: I've been busy with school and work and other junk...right? Yup. But this time I'd like to add in that I was scrambling all over the place getting a few last things ready for my grad school application. And now I can finally say that everything's been turned in...and I wait, with almost-nauseous anxiety, to hear back from the university.

Anyway, rather than inundating your feeds with several new posts, I'm just gonna consolidate lotsa tiny posts into one...hence this post's title "Consolidating Lotsa Posts into One," just in case y'all couldn't make the connection, but I know y'all are very smart and awesome cookies and now I'm just rambling. Sorry. Also, I'm numbering my tiny posts with hopefully interesting mini-titles? We'll see, you can skip them if you don't think they'll be worth reading hahaha.

SUPER EDIT: I was supposed to post this LAST week, but this thing called life got in the way, in a good way though! Anyway, now I'm just briefly touching on the consolidated posts. I'm sorry I teased y'all with everything, but I'm gonna try to limit each tiny post to just a few sentences. I'm telling myself that I'll know what I'm talking about, if/when I look back on this post, but we'll see.


1. an old dear finance friend

I miss my old dear finance friend, like crazy, and I know why. I hope he's doing well in law school.


2. crazy cold efficiency mode

I adore this beautiful Fall weather (who doesn't!?), but because of the colder temperatures, my body is going into efficiency mode. Hello cold limbs.


3. lotsa

Deciding to consolidate "lotsa" posts into one brought along the memory of one of my favorite econ professors. She was awesome, super intelligent and eloquent, and she loved using the term "lotsa" when giving her lectures. I hope I can be like her when I grow up.


4. breathing

I never really gave breathing a second thought; it's an automatic and totally natural thing we all do, but when you feel someone else's breathing go along with yours, it's overwhelming. Time is measured by the flow of air, no longer mere numbers.


I PROMISE I'll share something unofficially official in the super near future, like maybe tonight or by tomorrow afternoon. I just have a few things to do to be certainly-sure that I'm not sharing a lie or whatever; if my unofficially official announcement is true-true, I'll be feeling even better than I have these past couple of days, especially regarding the point of taking all these calculus courses. WHATEVER, y'all will know soon enough! :)

P.S. How about those election results, hmmmm? More on that later!

P.P.S. What the hell, lemme just write the unofficially official news now: I've been admitted to the grad school program that I applied for. I'm totally excited, totally scared of what's next, and totally ready to get my hands dirty with Economics again. We can't full-on celebrate yet, I still have to talk with the advisor, move things around to ensure I can still work, go to yoga, and go to school without a snag, oh yeah, and to figure out if I'm getting any scholarships and financial aid........oh boy, I'm getting dizzy just thinking about all of this. But it's worth it! :D

P.P.P.S. One last thing: I'm catching up with my blog reading list, so don't think I've forgotten y'all!!! :)

Tumbling

This past weekend I had the pleasure of having one of the most colorful dreams in my entire life. I usually dream in color, but this dream was just so perfectly hued. The color that jumped out the most was green. Such a deep and rich green. And the texture was so defined and real.

Of course, I should've written about this dream a lot sooner, most of the images (except for the luscious grassy moss I was running and crawling on) have faded away. I don't even remember if I was barefoot this time---I usually am when I have those running dreams...but that green, oh goodness, I can't forget that green.

Anyway, why is this post titled "Tumbling"? I really don't know, I guess several tidbits of thoughts have been...tumbling around in my head. Like the realization that sometimes... I go through what I have deemed Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde Syndrome---though I prefer the following comparison instead:

Yes, even I can admit that if I were a Disney character, I'd totally be Zazu. Crazy uptight bird.

After a bit of fun, I become this:



Ok, ok, so maybe I haven't thrown a bowling ball out the window yet...y'all should totally watch that movie by the way (Dazed and Confused) it's so good (in my opinion). Anyway, I have probably shared way too much information, so now I'm gonna edit this post, and you won't know that I did because you'll never have read the stuff I wrote first. If you can guess what I changed, good for you.

Surely I'm not the only one who goes through fun changes like this one right?

smallness

As y'all know, I had been thinking about dumb stuff earlier this week, and though my thoughts got a little healthier and more positive, I began to grasp just how small we all really are.

We're tiny, you know. I am me. In my room, in my home, in my apartment complex, in my neighborhood, in my city, in my county, etc. etc. There are people above me, people below me. Next to me. Beside me. I drive with so many different strangers on a daily basis, and we might never ever speak words to each other. I might appear in random dreams here and there, as a random person in the background, a familiar face yet so unknown.

Today I learned that seashells are merely skeleton remains of mollusks that, well, once lived. Like seriously, do you know how many mollusks must die every day for us to so casually encounter countless shells on the shore? Remember Coney Island? So many shells. So many small remains. At least some shells are still useful for living creatures, like hermit crabs or whatever. Or for those looking for supposedly aesthetically pleasing and natural souvenirs.

We step on these shells, never giving them a second thought.

We are small. Imagine how much smaller we'd be if we were mollusks. I recently read an article arguing that we are made of so many tiny tiny particles, that we are very complex organisms. My sister once quipped that we are actually made of dead star particles. I like that idea...

Yes, I am small, but it's okay. I like this sliver of space I take up in the universe. I like to think that my existence is worth something, a necessary and essential part that makes the universe continue. And that those I love exist for the same reason.

In all my thoughts and wanderings, I think it's time to share a tiny whale picture:

(courtesy of su-ami)

Dear readers, I like y'all by the way. Have a good weekend my dears. :)

Tidbits Tackles: Socioeconomic Tension and Income Inequality, Pt. 1

Hi everybody, you might be wondering (of course y'all have!): why hasn't Euni posted anything more about the upcoming presidential election? Why hasn't she ranted about the economy and the U.S. political structure?

Fear not, my friends, I've been thinking about all the stuff that's been going on for the past year. I just don't want to fight or come off as belligerent in my argument. I've been reading a lot of Paul Krugman and Jared Bernstein in particular, as well as paying attention to the news, reading articles and posts that seem interesting and relate to all this...STUFF.

It's all very overwhelming, to be honest. Sure, I care about the economy and anything that happens to it (duh, I'm an economics student), but I seriously can't remember when I became so "involved" in political discussions. Take it with a grain of salt, I am not super-involved (though I wouldn't mind it): I'm not a part of some grassroots organization that tries to spread the word about any politician or whatever. However, I believe it is my civic duty and responsibility to educate those around me with the facts. One of my strengths, I will admit to this one strength alone, is that I can teach. I strive to learn the material/subject first, and then I find a way to explain it in simple and easy-to-understand terms to those who care to listen. I'm proud to say that I've been able to keep my mother informed about current events because of this strength, and I've even ventured in discussing economics with my little cousins (6 and 7 years old)...

ANYWAY, I've gone out on a tangent long enough, let me get to the point of this post. I posit this question (or maybe a few questions actually):

Fifty years from now, when our grandchildren(?) learn about this "Great Recession" and the 2008 & 2012 elections, how will they look at us?

Will they argue that there were some racial undertones related to the tension and disdainful outrage against President Obama?

Will they argue that income inequality was at the root of the clash between political parties? Of social classes? Of age gaps?

Will they even care about these times we are now living, or will our history books try to gloss over this turbulent time period?

I intend to do some research and share my answers and conclusion to the questions I've asked. Frankly, I do believe income inequality has a lot to do with today's tension, and the idea and (dare I say it?) disillusion that our chosen leaders (e.g. Congress, state, local governments, etc.) are indifferent to our needs and would rather help themselves first.

I may sound cynical or depressed when it comes to our government, but I am full of hope that while we are living during a socioeconomic revolution of sorts, there will emerge a number of people who are bright, passionate, and who care about their nation, not just themselves.

If this type of posting/writing is not "your cup of tea," it's quite alright. You don't have to agree with me, but if you want to bring your arguments forward, please be advised that I expect facts and evidence to back up your claims.

This Is Only a Test, Right?

It is a test, a test to see if I've become a better person...at least, that's how I choose to interpret it.

My last post might have seemed a little down and melancholy, but fear not, I am in the process of getting back in the flow of things. I had to take a step back and really think about the goings-on. (I guess I should say what happened, I really don't care if certain people directly concerned with this event read this: what of it? I have the liberty to write what I want.) Long story short, the former-love-of-my-life just announced his engagement on Sunday. You might recall, if you've gone through my posts from last Fall, (particularly this post), he found a new love and I was left with a broken heart but a new vision of sorts. A few things about this new girl irked me: she has one eye smaller than the other, and among other things, she's an accountant. (Don't even get me started on why I don't like accountants...)

Anyway, I scolded myself for hating on this girl, I mean, come on Euni, you don't even know her! She might be the nicest and coolest girl ever, if I didn't know the former-love-of-my-life, we might have even been the bestest of friends! (Yeah, I don't think so.)

ANYWAY, I had to really think about what was going on in my life. This bit of engagement news was not really about my still being in love with him, but rather a wound to my ego, my pride. I mean, really?? I'm not the prettiest girl in the world (far from it!), but I'm (superficial I know) definitely easier on the eyes than her. Also, I'm sarcastic and enjoy very dry humor. And I'm an economist, I don't dwell on just nominal subjects (in the field and in life). And we did have some pretty great and memorable conversations (about all kinds of things). But whatever, I remembered how he sometimes underestimated me, my intellectual, emotional, and physical abilities. Ultimately, I do not want to live life with someone who constantly underestimates me.

And you know what? I have had the pleasure of meeting a pretty amazing guy, and while we are busy with our own things and we don't always agree about what music is better and why, he always succeeds in making me smile (if not laugh). I don't know and don't care what happens to us, but I'm just enjoying everything that comes our way.

So yes, this engagement is a test. Just a little blip and distraction from what I really care about in life. I think I pass this test, don't you agree?

Tuesday Tunesday: Wanted Dead or Alive

Happy Tuesday Tunesday! Yesterday was the start of a seemingly busy semester (or, next three months of my life), so I completely neglected Music Monday. While a little disappointing, it wasn't neglected in vain, I hope: both my younger sister and I started classes again, and since she doesn't have her own car yet, I get drive her to school before heading to work. Then I work the full eight hours or whatever, drive to yoga, and from there finish the evening with more Calculus. Basically, I'm away from home from 7 AM to 10ish PM. WOOHOO. The good thing is that this is the schedule for just Mondays and Wednesdays, roughly for the next three-and-a-half months.

Anyway, two things that ended up relating to each other: y'all know about that crab fishing show on the Discovery Channel, Deadliest Catch, right? Of course you do. I loved watching the first few seasons, but frankly after Captain Phil (of the Cornelia Marie, my favorite vessel?) died, I lost almost all interest in the series. Kinda sad, really. The song below, which until this past Sunday was nameless to me, is the intro theme song to this beloved series. And on a semi-related (well, really related) note, through Google's magical powers I found out what this song was called and who sang (sings) it (my research caused by my rather curious-while-drinking-...apple juice of course...-nature). Behold, Bon Jovi's Wanted Dead or Alive.



On one last unrelated (?) note, when I awoke on Sunday morning, I noticed two perfectly aligned and small bruises just above my right knee...I wonder how they got there...

Hazelnut

A few things before I get into the main story...first, the weather has been magnificently lovely---quite unusual since it is still August (and this month is usually the peak of the summer heat). Second, I don't think I'm allergic to celery. Third, and this is a really BIG deal: I ate watermelon for the first time in over a decade. A decade!

What's the big deal about watermelon, you ask? I'm a super picky eater, in case y'all couldn't figure that out (it's not much of a surprise if you ask me), and frankly, I do not appreciate the texture of watermelon. And all those seeds. Even when my mom would buy the seedless kind, I ALWAYS managed to find a seed. And eating watermelon is just too messy to be worth it, you know...Anyway, these past couple of years I've been taking baby steps in broadening my "approved foods list," and now I can say that watermelon isn't so bad after all...but only in small quantities, and I must have a good (i.e. great for cutting small pieces of watermelon into even smaller pieces) fork while eating this semi-approved fruit. I must say, there is something charismatic about watermelon...I dunno why.



That's what I imagine a charismatic watermelon would say.



Anyway, honestly I've been really rebellious with my writing duties lately, and i have dragged this poor old post for too long. This should have posted last Tuesday, but I just kept procrastinating, getting on Pinterest, clicking the "random" button on marriedtothesea, and reading a bit of Economics stuff. Now it's Sunday and I've forgotten the real point of this post: it's not really as exciting as it was when it happened. THE MAIN STORY: I made really strong hazelnut coffee at work and drank quite a bit of it. Consequently, I felt like I had become hazelnuts. I felt like Nutella.

I know...definitely not as a great a story as it would've been had I written about this sooner. My apologies. Enjoy my latest Pinterest find instead, I might have shared this with a few people beforehand, but it's just too odd not to share it with the rest of y'all.

Source: Uploaded by user via Lucas on Pinterest

Palpitations

xkcd: A Hypochrondiac's Nightmare

Happy Monday to all! This is a short "in the meantime" post; I will definitely try to post my regular Music Monday post later this evening, if time allows me to! Just a quick thing I wanted to share with the world...

Am I in love or am I just suffering from some heart murmur or palpitations?

Or could it just be a semi-allergic reaction to celery juice???

Also, did xkcd intentionally misspell "hypochrondiac"??

A few questions that I might never know the answers to I guess...see ya later!

Demand Equation and Other Stuff

This upcoming week is it: the last two exams for my Calculus class! :) :) :) I am definitely ready to finish my FINAL exam, turn it in, and then say, "Take that Professor, I'm glad to be done with your pathetic class and may I give you a word of advice?? LEARN WHAT A [price] DEMAND EQUATION IS AND HOW TO EXPLAIN IT PROPERLY!!!"

Ok, maybe I'll wait to say that AFTER I receive my final grade, but honestly, I knew this poor-excuse-for-a-professor was no good the minute he lashed out at another student for not knowing how to derive the demand equation from just having the given price and quantity. And then he himself did not know how to explain it! Now, maybe I'm a bit quick to judge him, I did graduate with a degree in Economics and am studying math precisely to get into grad school to pursue my master's in this field, but come on! I felt so bad for that student after the professor finished "explaining" how to derive the demand equation, and I did jump in to more eloquently explain the process and a basic meaning of what the demand equation means...though in the end, that student wasn't (and isn't) really bright (he managed to anger the professor again in our last class while working a problem on the whiteboard), so nothing could save him with regards to that!

Anyway, in case anyone was wondering, I'm not dead; very much alive actually. Just finishing up my stuff, you know! :) I might be back tomorrow, but if not, I'll definitely try to share my Music Monday post on, well, you know, Monday...

Give these guys a listen btw...(^_^)
  

Alarm

So maybe I've been studying a little too hard. Y'all might have noticed it through my negligent writing, my lack of free time, blah blah blah (I sometimes fear that I'm writing too much about the same stuff, but I guess it's because it all has been taking over my life, oh well!)

Anyway, in case there was any doubt, I shall share a dream I had right before I woke up to get ready for work yesterday morning. I just had an exam over this thing called IMPLICIT DIFFERENTIATION, which is basically (in lame-Euni-non-math terms) taking the derivative of a function with respect to a specified variable (like "take the derivative with respect to x" or whatever)---y'all should probably just google this term if you really care about this subject, but anyway, the point is implicit differentiation had been in my mind throughout the day and night.

So, right before I woke up for-real-for-real (i.e. actually opened my eyes and felt fresh and fully awake), I had this dream. I could see an equation in the far off distance. And it was quite LARGE, as in, the "x" component in the function was as tall as me (5 feet 2-3/4 inches). As I got closer to this function, I realized that my morning alarm was on, but it sounded so small and light! I had to climb on the "e" component to reach for the alarm, which was located in the exponent. The function, by the way, is below...I added the good old whale wallpaper to make it more exciting:

This function, I think, was actually in one of my homework problems.

Anyway, by the time I reached the "t" I was fully awake. Have y'all had any weird dreams lately? Feel free to share them! :)

Tuesday Tunesday (Proxy Music Monday): Runaways

Ok, so you guys know why I've been negligent in my blogging as of late (school and junk and stuff like that), but I think...NO, I BELIEVE...today is a PERFECT day to be this week's Music Monday proxy. Behold, The Killers' newest single, Runaways.




Love it, hate it, I don't really care. I'm glad they're back :)

HAPPY TUESDAY!

In the Meantime...

I had been straining my brain trying to figure out the name of this song...I FINALLY FOUND IT! (I Can't Wait by Nu Shooz, fyi.)

Negligence, or Sparse Blogging Apology

Uhm....HAIIIIIIII EVERYONEEEEE...I feel terrible for being a well, terrible person and not taking the time to write and share all of my oh-so-wonderful-only-kinda-not-wonderful stories with you all.

I'M REALLY REALLY SORRY, GUYS, I HAVE SO MUCH STUFF TO WRITE THAT I'M KIND OF OVERWHELMED.

Overwhelmed not because I feel I have to write for you guys specifically, but rather because I love to write, and the fact that I'm not doing what I like just makes me feel like a bad person. I've neglected the storytelling section of my brain and that makes me sad. Do y'all wanna know why I've been away?

Calculus. Damn you Calculus. Slowly creeping into my life through the classes and homework assignments, then invading my quotidian (usually reserved for daydreaming) thoughts, and then...and then, Calculus had the AUDACITY to completely destroy the sanctity of my bedtime slumber.

Yes. Oh yes, I had math nightmares. Four nights in a row. Recurring. Trying to find derivatives and writing out the solutions step-by-step.

Accept this MS Paint drawing as a form of apology. PLEASE!?

Anyway, since the start of the SUMMER OF MATH, I've been a little caught up with studying and whatnot, and for that very exact reason, I have been unable to write as often as I would have liked to. That, and work has been a little busier, which is perfectly alright, I think.

Anyway, I sadly missed this week's Music Monday, but I'll make up for it, I promise. I'm currently working on a really cool post about something I saw today, in particular, so it should *should* be a really enjoyable read. Till then, I hope y'all are having a great week! :)

Just Because

Source: 24.media.tumblr.com via Rebecca on Pinterest

It's not really my place to say anything, you know, to try to console or encourage or cheer someone up. Especially when I don't really know this person, other than how we've interacted on our particular tangent of this particular virtual world.

My words aren't particularly important either, but I'd like to let you know that I care. You might feel like your writing's going nowhere, that you can't quite finish processing great thoughts into great words and posts, that no one cares to know what you do on a day-to-day basis or whatever; that is not the case at all.

Anyway, if I knew you for-real-for-real (i.e. in person or whatever), I'd think you were pretty interesting. (For the record, I'm not too talented in providing great words of encouragement and stuff like that, but I think my heart's usually in the right place.)

So before I ruin this post with more rambling thoughts, I'm just gonna finishing by saying, "You're alright, kid." Just keep doing what you want to do. I'm working on that myself, and I wish you the best! :)

Music Monday: It Was a Good Day

Happy Music Monday! I'd like to take a moment first to say that I feel a whole lot better after my previous post. The response I got from good people meant a lot to me and I feel a little recharged. Thanks guys!! :)

Now about today's song (Ice Cube's It Was A Good Day)...Pretty speechless when it comes to this song...

Ice Cube + pretty good Monday = who knew!?

When it comes to songs like this one, I am overcome with laughter and amazement (amazement at Ice Cube's flowing lyrics).

Enjoy.

Mini Panic Attack

Source: delicious.com via nicole on Pinterest

That's how I feel right now. Now that I'm 24, I realized that it's been exactly two years since I graduated from university. If I had been really really super focused and had known what I wanted to do two years ago, I'd be finishing up my masters degree right about now...or I'd possibly be halfway through my Ph. D.

This is tough on me, and while most of the time I calm myself down by saying, "It's alright Euni! The stuff you've gone through has been good for you and your development as an able human being in society!" (yes, I actually say "development as an able human being in society..." word for word), right now I'm kind of breaking down.

Where am I right now? Getting ready to take some calculus courses over the summer. I know that I want to pursue a higher degree in Behavioral Economics. What's holding me back? Not having enough information on good Behavioral Economics graduate programs. Also, the fear of not having enough funds/income to sustain my pursuit of higher education---sure, I can take on more loans, but at what point will it become too much debt? And sure, I'm totally cool with studying full-time and tackling the hard education stuff, but what about day-to-day living expenses (i.e. daily nourishment, rent, etc.)?

Someone should slap me in the face and give me a bottle of whiskey, preferably the whiskey first so my face can be numb.

...

Ok, I feel better now. I just need to laugh out loud and everything will be alright again---anyone want to join?

{On a brighter note, my birthday was wonderful. One of the best yet---but I'll discuss that later!}