Note: this post is very much about myself, so I do apologize if it's boring and dumb.
Sometimes I wonder if I am not only the protagonist of my life, but the antagonist in others' lives as well. Have you thought about that? I mean, here I am, (for example), all caught up in how so-and-so is being hurtful towards me or whatever, when I might actually be doing the same thing to another particular unfortunate soul. Like, while my heart is broken by someone, I am actually breaking another poor boy's heart.
...nooooooo, I couldn't possibly be so mean...but...
just in case I am responsible for such a thing, I do apologize. In retrospect, I realize that I may in fact have been kind of cold. Not answering the phone, cancelling plans, not allowing conversations to get too serious...yeah, I'm sorry. (I should rephrase the "not answering the phone" thing: it should rather be "not returning missed phone calls...")
I guess history and personal experiences have made me be like this--too emotionally complex, cautious, and weary--but I feel that I still haven't found who and what I'm looking for. Perhaps I'll understand everything when I find it; or maybe God has a nice, winding path for me to travel in order to come right back where I started but in a different light. Either way, I'm still here, breathing, living.
So, you know how during the summer almost every gas station has those fountain drink specials??? In which one size cup in particular is the one that's on sale...so if you happen to be one of the people who like a smaller or larger size, it's like "Tough Kitty Paws, your preferred size drink is NOT special enough to be on sale" and you have to suffer and pay for the wrong-size cup and drink what you can.
...
That's what I thought until today. Now, I'm not one who goes all out with my fountain drinks: usually the smallest drink will suffice...so if you're one of those people who don't really care for anything more than a 22-oz. drink, this solution is for you...
Basically, it goes like this:
The gas stations price their drinks regularly (22-oz: $0.89, 32-oz: $0.99, etc.).
During the summer, the 32-oz. drink is priced way below all the other drinks, in my case, at $0.49.
The smaller drink, however, does not get to boast a special price; it's still $0.89.
(Similarly with those drinks larger than 32 oz.)
So the smaller drink doesn't get a chance to be competitive with the larger drink, which is sad, because frankly, I don't know what to do with so much drink!
Well..........it turns out there is a way around this unfair pricing system. You see, nobody ever really obligates or forces one to fill up their fountain drink cup all the way. So what if I only fill up my 32-oz. drink halfway? What's it to you? I'm still paying for the 32-oz. drink because it's in the 32-oz. size cup....
I hadn't realized this until after we had paid for the drinks...It's not like I'll get in trouble for refusing to fill up my drink all the way, right???
A light word to those who want more than 32 fluid ounces of fountain drink: unlike the logic with respect to the small-drink-dilemma, you shouldn't be complaining. Why on earth would you need to drink so much fountain drink??? Don't you know it'll make you wanna use the restroom, as well as rot your teeth? Shame, shame, shame.
So I'm going through one of those moments, in which I feel like I need to get out of here (this humdrum life or whatever) and just explore. And it doesn't matter if I know where I'm going, or what I'll be doing, but I just have to do it. Go out. Drive somewhere. And if I happen to find a new place to call home, then, so be it!
Of course, things are never that easy to start. In an ideal world, where there are no obstacles whatsoever, I could totally just get a small suitcase ready, fill my tank, and drive out to who-knows-where. Feel the sun embrace me in the morning. Have the moon lull me to sleep. Learn things through trial and error. Complete independence -- the rewards and pains that come with it.
I'm at that point though...right at the edge of the Cliff of Terrified-Wimpy-Scared Nervousness...ready to jump off and see where it leads. I guess the real reason I write this particular post today is to hold myself accountable and responsible (for real - for real) for the decisions I'm about to take -- you know, like if you write down a list of things to do, then you feel accomplished when you complete it (and quite like a failure if you don't) -- that sort of thing.
So, here I go. By the end of the week, I expect to have the following complete:
Get in touch with certain potential grad schools;
Complete at least three (3) new job applications;
Enroll in that annoying Calculus course;
Finish reading my current book;
Continue to read current financial articles; and
Anything else that might pop up.
Please hold me to this list. I know it's small, but it is also quite daunting. It's just all a matter of getting started. I know -- for a fact -- that once I get over this small hurdle, nothing's gonna stop me from getting what I deserve.
Whoa, can you believe it's that time of the year when all these political figures announce their bid for the presidency? Oh goodness, I feel I'm gonna have a blast hearing about all these candidates and their promises, particularly their promises for the economy. That Tim Pawlenty will provide a few laughs, for sure.
I promise I'll look into the candidates as more information becomes available! :)
