Sometimes I wonder if I am not only the protagonist of my life, but the antagonist in others' lives as well. Have you thought about that? I mean, here I am, (for example), all caught up in how so-and-so is being hurtful towards me or whatever, when I might actually be doing the same thing to another particular unfortunate soul. Like, while my heart is broken by someone, I am actually breaking another poor boy's heart.
...nooooooo, I couldn't possibly be so mean...but...
just in case I am responsible for such a thing, I do apologize. In retrospect, I realize that I may in fact have been kind of cold.
I guess history and personal experiences have made me be like this--too emotionally complex, cautious, and weary--but I feel that I still haven't found who and what I'm looking for. Perhaps I'll understand everything when I find it; or maybe God has a nice, winding path for me to travel in order to come right back where I started but in a different light. Either way, I'm still here, breathing, living.