Tuesday, November 13, 2012

This is enough to...

...make me vomit. Life, I admit, has been going quite well for me right now, so my current emotional instability is making me more upset than usual.

I'll be perfectly fine, content, and full of hope and light one moment, and as if I had a switch or something, the next moment I just feel terrible. I know people love me, I know I love myself, I know God loves me, so it's perplexing to me that I feel this way.

I begin to remember the former-love-of-my-life. I don't love him anymore, I don't even miss our friendship, but something about my past interactions with him seriously messed me up.

I'm ready to embrace new love, I want to assert my affections out loud, but I know the moment I do, the former-love-of-my-life will find some way to wedge his big nose back into my recuperating life. He's done it in the past, made sure I wouldn't forget him.

That's not my fault; if anything, it just means that there's seriously something wrong with him, not me. Craving my attention in some sick twisted way.

I don't want to lose this time. I want to win. I want to break through everything that is holding me back.

I just hope my new love is willing to bear with me while I put myself back together.


  1. That guy sounds like he's quite lonely and you are better off without him, and ignoring him if he ever tries to get back in to your life. We all have those fluctuating moments, so try to keep focused on the good times when you're happy.

    1. Definitely, I'm trying to accept the good things coming my way, but it's difficult at times. I have deleted his contact information, and I've made the decision to ignore and delete any communication he attempts to make with me.