I think I'm getting better at accepting the good things that have come my way lately. I can now officially say that I am in fact going to grad school in January 2013. I know, I'm still terrified out of my mind, and my feeling of terror reminded me of the mini panic attack I had in May, before I started the "summer of math" and all of the adventures I've had since then. However, the terror is made less, uhm, terrifying (forgive the unnecessary redundancy) by the fact that I am happy. I feel more confident too, confident in my intelligence and renewed hope.
There are a few minor differences this time around, regarding going back to school. The most important difference is I'm not afraid to admit that I don't know what I'm doing; I just know that I love Economics, I know what interests me in the field, and I'm just going to roll with whatever happens. Compare that to the start of my undergrad, boy was I crazy. 18-year-old Euni knew, just knew, that she was going to major in Marketing and get some fancy-schmancy job after graduation. HA. HA. HA. I do admire younger-me's passion though, and I feel like I'm regaining some of that passion and focusing it in a more positive way.
With regards to love, too, I've been struggling a bit more in accepting it for what it is. It's okay for me to love someone, and it's okay for that someone to love me back. I don't need to runaway or mask my fears with indifference. Like seriously, a really funny thing happened recently, in which God played a good-natured joke on me, just so I could realize that I didn't need to run away, but I'll relate that story another time.
Of course, being the overly cautious girl that I am, I can't say for sure that I've learned all that I needed to learn; there are still countless things for me to experience and learn from, and that is quite alright. Also, if I go through another rough patch, I'm okay with that, because I know things will always get better.
For this moment though, however brief or long it may be, I feel like my heart's in the sky, enjoying the warm sunshine in this cold weather...or like this song. Whichever image works best for y'all :)