Birthday Post!

Happy birthday to meeeee. Wheeeeee.

So I've been 25 years old for a week and one day now, and I don't feel any different really...25 seems so strange a concept to me: it's right in the middle of your 20s, the truest quarterlife-crisis number, the year when you can rent a car and have lower car insurance and stuff.

Hmph, I should rent a car.

This post should be about my birthday, the anniversary of my birth, the number of times I've revolved around the sun completely. 25. In three more 25-year segments I'll be 100. If I were a coin, I'd be 1/4 of a dollar. Why the comparisons? Why the fractions and mathematical breakdown of an age?

The squirrel makes sense. Just keep reading.

I dunno really. But it's really quite alright. And I don't think the actual celebration that took place on my birthday serves as a foreshadowing representation of my 25th year as a whole. [Does that sentence even make sense?] Anyway, in a nutshell:

• I woke up to get ready for work (because my boss didn't approve my request for the day off.
• My mother was sick, and my younger sister was dead asleep, so nobody sang happy birthday in the morning.
• Nobody seemed to care that it was my birthday, I don't even think I cared about it.
• It was pretty rainy on my way to work, and as I made my way down the usual route, a squirrel jumped in front of my car and I killed it.
• The sudden death of the squirrel caused me to laugh and cry, simultaneously.
• Work was lame and not busy at all, hahahaha. And for the birthday lunch we had pizza. I also received a few gifts and birthday cards.
• I left work and went home. We "celebrated" my birthday by eating cake with some of my close family. Then everyone left because more storms were on their way.
• My younger sister and I drove around for a bit, just before the storms hit...a small hurrah for being a year older.

And that was it. 25. I would like to say that my birthday was amazing and stuff like that, but it wasn't. But I was okay with it. Every day for the past month-and-a-half has been amazing enough, feeling love from all different places, that I can't keep myself from smiling!

Summer's gonna be awesome.

P.S. Out of all the presents I received for my birthday, I STILL DID NOT RECEIVE A BLACK LABRADOR PUPPY!!! I guess I'll have to get one myself...one of these days BAYBAYYSSSS...one of these days.

This would be a picture of my black lab puppy...IF I HAD ONE!!!!!

Tuesday Tunesday: Who Knows Who Cares

Hi everybody!!! I'm finally back from an accidental hiatus of sorts, done with my first semester of grad school and stuff like that!

I have so much free time now that I don't even know what to do with it. Oh sure, I still go to work Monday-Friday, but it's such an easy job that I usually finish my work tasks with so much time left over. During the spring semester, I'd fill in that free time with study/homework time. I've been making myself busy, but there's really only so much I can do...

Having been busy with school stuff though, I completely neglected the fact that my birthday is creeping up on me. (It's tomorrow by the way, and I dunno how to feel about it!) And so, I scrambled around trying to request the day off from work (my boss didn't approve the request), buy my birthday dress (I didn't succeed in getting the one I originally wanted, but I got a worthy substitute), and plan something to do for the weekend celebration of it (which is currently not going very well).

Boy, the way that paragraph looks, I sound lame and superficial. It's not as bad as it sounds. Honestly, I just want to spend my birthday with my mother and sisters (and hopefully that'll happen alright tomorrow after work). The way things have been lately with my friends though...that's a different story. I don't think it's anyone's fault, we've all just been doing our own thing; the girls in the "gang" have been hanging out more while I've been stuck in grad school, the guys have been doing their own thing...I look back at last summer and how we were all on good terms, hanging out during the weekends, feeling young and free and stuff!

Anyway, I need to cheer up! And really, I've been feeling pretty awesome the past month or so---I still don't quite comprehend how I started out April quite miserable and heartbroken but now I'm in the middle of May and quite content with how things have been going. I've been trying a few new things here and there; I'm also in the beautiful happy stage of a new relationship (seriously, this awesome guy I'm seeing is pretty amazing, and nothing like the complicated relationships I've been in before). However, that's not the point of this post. The point is, and I'm glad I chose to share Local Natives' Who Knows Who Cares, that I just need to go along with whatever happens, reminding myself to enjoy every moment (good and bad).

We'll see how year twenty-five goes. I think I'll start that fun job search again; I wanna get out of this complacency, you know?! I wanna move out (on my own?), I wanna get a dog, I wanna visit Seattle (and the rest of the world)!

So dear friends of the virtual world, how's life been for y'all lately?? I'm gonna start catching up on my blog readings and I can't wait to see what y'all have been up to! :)

The BIGGEST Day of the Semester

Hi everybody!

Things have been swirling around in my life lately, and I have little time to just sit back and relax and think about everything. It's okay though, in the past two months I've finally gotten over my most recent break up and I've gotten through (ALIVE!!!) the heaviest parts of the Spring semester.

Now all that awaits is...the BIG CASE STUDY PRESENTATION. I won't bore y'all with the details (if anyone has stuck around to read my intermittent posts), but this is it! It's this group project I've been working on almost all semester, and this Thursday is the evening we present in class! Sure, the downside is that I have to miss the Lumineers' concert, but I'm trying to "keep my head up" by making it the BEST presentation ever given on the SUPER-FUN subject of Transfer Pricing.

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, we'll see how it goes.

After that presentation, I have two final exams for my other two classes and then two more papers to turn in for Transfer Pricing. And then I'll be FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

I am very happy with all the stuff I've gone through this entire semester, with life and academia and whatnot, and I am ready to embrace what's coming next!!

I can't wait till I have so much more free time again so I can write and read more blog posts and articles and books and lots of other stuff too! :D

Till next time you guys!!

P.S. That word "BIGGEST" in the title looks weird, right??

I Think Ur a Contra

So a few posts ago I mentioned I needed to resolve some issues with this guy I was seeing. After much thought and talking with some close friends, I came to terms with what I really wanted. I realized that I had genuine feelings for this friend-turned-lover, and that I didn't need to run away from my feelings.

But you know how these things go. He told me he didn't mean to lead me on, that another girl had his heart. I became upset but tried to keep calm and composed. I've been struggling, not only because of the feelings I felt, but because I didn't like how I let him get to me like this, when he was nowhere near the level that the former-love-of-my-life was. That last thing is what keeps me down most of the time.

I guess I also feel betrayed. Everything I shared was honest and sincere. And he seemed to reciprocate the honesty. I would talk about things that brighten my soul and mind (economics, politics, music, etc.), and he would appear interested and have intelligent conversations with me. And now, especially this very night, I feel like it was all an act on his part. Oh sure, he might dabble in the topics I'm studying, but he never really felt as strongly about them as I do. And while I had begun to believe that he cared about me, he was juggling dating several other girls, one of whom he is "officially" in a relationship with.

Whatever, dear. I think ur a contra. That's all I will say about you. Ever. What will happen to our friendship? I dunno, and I really don't care right now. And even though I know I didn't do anything wrong this time around, I don't know how to fight from feeling like the worst person in the world---so awful that some average-looking guy rejected me.

I know that last sentence up there is crazy talk and I need to stop. April appears to be the toughest month yet, and I just want to get through it quickly. Alone.

"nothing you say ever makes sense"

Hiya everybody! It's been far too long since I last updated teenytinytidbits, and y'all know the reason behind my absence. It's funny how unprepared I truly was (and continue to be) for grad school, but it's all worth it; at least, it seems like it's worth it at this point in time.

I've been totally immersed in the math econ class in particular, though the last couple of weeks have been consumed by the fascinating subject of TRANSFER PRICING. It's definitely as cool as it sounds but totally not fun trying to explain what it is to my friends and family. The deeper I delve into my studies, the crazier it seems that nobody else in my close circle of loved ones understands what the hell I'm talking about. Yup, I'm becoming that weirdo family member, the one who never seems like she's completely there-there...lately, my Potato Cousin enjoys the following quip about me: "We love you because nothing you say ever makes sense."

Greaaaaaaat! I'll take that as a compliment, thank you very much! I'm embracing this new kind of weirdness and taking it for what it is. I can talk about stuff I'm working on, like how corporate tax rates affect where multinational entities choose to locate legal ownership of their patents and other intangible assets, and whoever is listening to me talk about it has NO idea if what I'm saying is true or just made up.

Anyway, I just turned in my first research paper and it was pretty awful, I really don't expect to get a good grade on it, but it's alright---like I said, it was my first paper. I'll just take it as a...LEARNING EXPERIENCE. :)

So yeah, I guess that's as good a tidbit as I can come up with right now. I will enjoy what remains of my tiny moment of rest. Aaaaaaaaand, here's a picture of whale cupcakes found on Pinterest, just because:

                                                            Source: feeuz.tumblr.com viaErin on Pinterest

"Oh right, that's why friends shouldn't date!"

I've been doing better, post-breakup, but there are a few things I miss. I promise this is one of the last posts on the subject (I still plan on sharing my breakup-getting over it-playlist, which should be helpful if I ever go through this stuff again), and it's one of those things that I just have to share on teenytinytidbits, to kinda keep it secret and let whoever reads this read it.

As you might guess from the title, I've been dealing with the consequences of being romantically involved with a friend. He was (is) a good guy, and while he claimed that he wanted to remain friends, he hasn't lived up to that friendship anymore. And that just kills me. We had several things in common, among them my favorite things in the world: Arcade Fire, Blue Moon, and math. Silly, right?

Yup, I fell in love with him at the same time I was falling in love with Arcade Fire, and it all coincidentally developed my love for Blue Moon and math. It's so weird, it feels like now that we aren't dating, these things which I still enjoy dearly make me feel like the custodial parent. Kind of like he gave up talking about or enjoying these things (publicly), giving me full custody of these quirky bonds.

I'm obviously not going to stop listening to Arcade Fire or studying math, and I most certainly won't stop enjoying Blue Moon when the occasion calls for it, but I can't keep from feeling slightly wistful and like something's amiss when I encounter these things.

I just wish we could still hang out and share these pleasures together. Learn from the things we went through so we could have a stronger friendship. But I guess I can't really do anything else about it, if he's just becoming another distant memory.

In happier news, God willing, I'll get through this tough school week and enjoy a much deserved Spring Break, and by enjoy, I mean I get to work-work and then finish my Transfer Pricing paper. Woohooooooo! Things should be getting better from here. :)

Too much

Hi everyone,

I'm still alive, but terribly occupied with school work and work-work. It's awful, but I keep telling myself things will clear up and I will soon be able to relax. (Ha, I know it's all illusion, I won't be able to truly relax [if that's even possible] until early May.)

Truly, it's been awful. In the course of the past two weeks, I've gone through the end of a relationship that was just about to blossom, I became very ill, and now I find myself trying to find happy endings for my friends, since I can't seem to have my own. All while keeping up with the reading assignments for my classes. :(

There's been lots of crying, frustration, anger, and just total detachment from things I used to enjoy, but I am trying my best to keep a positive outlook. Stuff like this happens, I have come to terms with the fact that I genuinely felt love and affection for a really nice guy. That was the hardest part for me, admitting I felt something. So you can imagine how horrible it was to all of a sudden be rejected by the guy I thought had felt something for me too. I honestly think there was something more to why he just ended things with me, but what can we do, right?

We're supposed to still be friends and whatever, and while I've genuinely tried to pass over this awkward phase in our friendship, he's not being as cooperative. I really don't want this to become another "brock" thing (this is what I'm calling that thing, it's not like the former-love-of-my-life reads this). But I don't know what I'll do if I see this recent ex with another girl or whatever. I don't think I can handle it, at least not for the time being.

And so, I've been distracting myself from all this ache by studying studying studying, stressing about studying, turning in homework assignments and listening to music. I've tried talking with friends, but not one of them truly understands the situation I'm in, both in my [lack of]-love life and in my academic pursuits. Remind me to laugh at all of this when this is over.

I'm sorry, you guys, this post has just been terribly sad. I'll do better on the next post.

Tuesday Tunesday: Beta Love

It's Tuesday, and I can honestly say that this week is chugging along a whole lot better than last week. For one thing, this evening's class was *ahem* unfortunately cancelled because the professor's flight was *ahem* unfortunately cancelled. LOL.

So, before I continue with my studying, I'm taking some time to share today's Tuesday Tunesday: the title song from Ra Ra Riot's new album Beta Love. I've just barely started listening to this album, I like it enough to give it a few more listens and we'll go from there.

Hmmm, let me share something that happened today, I'm trying to make teenytinytidbits more lighthearted and full of more stories and random anecdotes or whatever. Ok, so today felt like an April Spring day, like right before a huge thunderstorm rolls on through town. There was a light pleasant breeze as I made my way to my car in the morning, and the clouds were coming majestically together to cover my entire route to work in a deep and mesmerizing coat of gentlemanly grey. I love those kinds of clouds, that kind of sky.

The meteorologist had announced that there would be a slight chance of thunderstorms in the early part of the day today; when the early part of the day passed on by without a drop of rain, I was disappointed. I love it when it storms around here, especially when those storms bring about a hint of Spring. I know, we're still far from Spring, but this is Texas, and I have had enough cold to last me the entire year thank you very much. Anyway, the hours passed along uneventfully, for the most part, and then suddenly, about an hour and a half before clocking out, the gentlemanly grey clouds paid us another visit.

It poured. No, it spilled all over us. So much rain, so many resulting puddles for my Jeep to drive through like a rugged all-terrain adventurer, well, as far as my imagination was concerned. It was glorious. A much welcomed cleansing.

But the storm brought along its friend, the cold front, which isn't so bad I guess, I mean, it's not like it's freezing or anything like that. Also, the rain has stopped now for sure, and tomorrow we'll probably see the sun again.

And tomorrow, TOMORROW, is Wednesday, already. Wow, right? Last week took its sweet time to end, and this week is just flying by, not even stopping to have a cup of coffee with me or chatting about how it's doing. Oh well, it's okay, January is almost over, and I want to say goodbye to it already.

Hmm, I guess this is where my post ends tonight. I'll make an effort to write tomorrow too! :) Hope y'all have been having a better week too!

Things I do in the office...

Well, I have zero dogs at the moment, so does that imply that all it takes is ONE dog for me to become a "crazy dog lady"? (Source.)

...to distract myself when there is no work to be done:

1. Repeat phrases in my head.

Example: in contemplating the title of this post, "things I do in the office...things I do in the office...things I do in the office..."

2. Move my head in all directions, like a bird.

3. Drink water.

4. Refill my water bottle when it is empty.

5. Go through Pinterest and laugh (sometimes too loudly), pin, repin, like, at the "humor" pins.

6. Listen to music on Spotify (regular business hours haha).

7. Think about awkward moments in my life.

Example: like when I used to wear the "slim fit" jeans in middle school, even worse that I would wear a black belt and black dress shoes with white socks along with those jeans. Or like when I unconsciously make weird faces at friends/co-workers/strangers who are not in the "super-secret-approved-Euni-list-of-people list."

8. Read the good old "Mathematics for Economists" textbook. Guaranteed oodles and oodles of fun.

9. Daydream. --- Well, we all know I do that even if there is work to be done. I think I am 75% in daydream mode, and that's not taking actual bedtime slumber into account.

10. Walk around the office, stretch, balance on one leg, pretending to be a flamingo.

Now, my distraction activities aren't just limited to the above list; I have been known to apply unnecessary amounts of chapstick, browse online for dresses, look at webcomics, play with Google maps, cut out funny pictures from the junk mail the office receives, draw and color dinosaurs, etc. Wow, when I mention all the things I do when I'm not working, my job sounds super awesome. But don't think that I neglect my work; I just that efficient that I have so much extra time on my hands.

Tuesday Tunesday: Une Année Sans Lumière

Hey, it's Tuesday, and I'm taking a tiny break from studying for "Mathematical Economics," which gives me good reason to share another song with y'all. It might be no surprise, but it is another Arcade Fire song, one that has lately made me feel oddly at peace with the goings-on around me.

Now, I don't know all the lyrics and background information to this song, but it does bring to mind Plato's Allegory of the Cave...maybe I'm thinking too much into it hahaha. Oh yeah, and it has a bit of French in it too (which I don't know how to speak/read/write!) Enjoy!



A lot can happen in a matter of days (well, if I want to stretch out the time span, a couple of weeks), and I've reached a fork in the road (so to speak), and I'm indifferent between the two [basic] choices (and consequently the two potential outcomes). On the one hand I could have affection and more time invested with the guy I care about; on the other, there would be no need for me to further develop my feelings for that same guy. Obviously I'd much rather not even dwell on this little situation, and as the days progress I'm leaning more and more towards not seeing him (exclusively, romantically, whatever) and just moving on.

My relapse (on dwelling on the former-love-of-my-life) has nothing to do with my current thoughts, but I think I might have mentioned it here before: if I had already fought with all my might for the [former-]love-of-my-life, why should I even fight for this new guy (when I don't even know if he's anything special)?

It sounds awful, I know, but sometimes we just have to face reality and make decisions that will, in the long-run, be the best decisions for all of us. I wouldn't mind, of course, taking our relationship to the next level (gosh that phrasing sounds so trite and annoying), but only if I can trust his sincerity and supposed affections for me. I dunno, with school and work and all the other stuff in between, y'all might agree that I should just let this situation go. How about I just decide to not think about this stuff for the rest of the week (at least)? We'll go from there.

Here's to hoping for more interesting and happier things for the rest of the week! :)

Frogger

I had some extra time on my hands at work, so I went to XKCD and kept hitting the random button. Then I found this one:



Frogger (you should probably click on the image for a better look!)


The first time I saw this particular comic I was surrounded by such blissful memories. I should have known then that things were working out with the former-love-of-my-life, and that I could have spoken about my feelings with certainty and confidence.

He was good back then. I am trying not to be upset at myself for remembering my time with him, it's okay for me to go through little phases like these, things always get better. So bear with me, everyone, if I seem quiet and more reserved than usual, I'm just getting through this little episode.

I started grad school this week, and wow, it IS going to be tough. But I'm about 97% sure I'll be able to handle the full-time coursework along with the 40-hour work weeks...YAY LEARNING EXPERIENCES.

(I need to start writing and reading more!)

Weeeeeee 2013

Source: lilluna.com via Denise on Pinterest

Ha, so maybe I'm a little late in writing the quintessential New Year's Day post---in which I share with y'all all the important life lessons I've learned throughout the year, as well as the resolutions I followed through on and what this new year's resolutions are---but it's okay because this is teenytinytidbits, and I do what I want and post when I feel like it. :)

At the end of 2011, I had the following not-so-obligatory resolutions set out for myself:

• to travel at least once in 2012,
• to go back to school in the Fall,
• to continue yoga classes,
• to find a better job, AND
• to learn how to ride a bicycle.

Oh, and I told myself it was quite alright that I hadn't learned how to dance. Hmmm, you know what, you guys??? I actually accomplished MOST of those resolutions in 2012. Well, except for the whole finding a better job thing, BUT as I stated back then, I wasn't in any real hurry to find one. I also travelled (not to Seattle) to Mexico at the end of the year. {don't you worry, my dear city, I will visit you this year.} With regards to school, we all know how that went: I started taking classes last summer, and now I've managed to get myself into graduate school (btw, classes start next Monday)! I also continued my yoga practice. AAAAAAAAAAND, crazy crazy crazy, I actually learned how to ride a bicycle. I think riding a bike is actually my most proudest moment of 2012. Like for-real-for-real.

Oh yeah, and while I still haven't formally learned how to dance, I have become more comfortable of just going crazy, letting go, and dancing my shoes off, and I've actually been admired and complimented for my dance moves HAHAHAHA.

Wow, when I look at all my accomplished resolutions, I feel, well, accomplished. Oh sure, 2012 had its dark moments (had my car totaled on the first day of 2012, found out the former-love-of-my-life got engaged, blah blah blah), but it also had magnificent moments, like going out with friends and lovers, listening to amazing new music, and forming new loving memories with really special people.

I still have a lot to learn and do in life, but lemme see, lemme see, what should my resolutions for 2013 be? Let's keep it simple and relaxed this year too, I give better results when I left to my own devices. Ok, well, I want to continue my yoga practice, but to be more specific, I want to be able to do the "camel pose" without getting dizzy. I want to have an awesome first semester of grad school, so I will strive to have all A's in my courses (we'll see how it all goes, I'm just gonna try my best). I also want to run a 5K...don't know which 5K event I will try to do, probably the balloon festival 5K this summer...Also, sure I've learned how to ride a bike, but I want to get better at riding my bicycle. Hmmm, and I should go to more concerts, if anyone good comes along :)

And...one last resolution...though it's not a mandatory one, but I really would like this one to come true this year...I want to move out and live on my own. Completely depend only on myself. Have a place to call my own, freely decorate it my way, have my own dishware, experiment with weird food concoctions (or eat cereal whenever I feel like it!)...

2012, I loved you. You were exactly what I thought you would be. I'll miss you, but I'm ready to meet 2013 and enjoy the new adventures that await. I'm ready to learn, love, and live some more. I hope everyone has a great new year!!!

P.S. My last post of 2012 mentioned an accident I was in. I'm happy to report that it has all been resolved: the other party's insurance paid for my Jeep's repairs and now I'm back to driving and singing my favorite songs! :)