Something about it being the end of the year makes me feel overwhelmed and convoluted---on the one hand, it's lovely and thrilling to read and hear about everyone's regrets, their favorite memories, their New Year's resolutions, and of course my very favorite, their acknowledging the fact that they probably won't keep their resolutions. On the other hand...it's always sad to let go of another year, you know, even if it hasn't been the best year in our lives.
Now, going along with the general theme and end-of-year trend, I share with you all (I love you all!) my Tidbit on this year and the next:
I ended 2010 stating that one of my resolutions for 2011 was to learn how to dance. Did I do that?....not really. Am I disappointed?...a little, but not really; even though I remain an awkward dancer, I had the great pleasure of traveling, near and far. Another resolution: to strengthen my faith and love. Now, more than ever, I place my faith in God's hands. He knows what is best for me, and I don't need to worry about how scary or difficult things get, God always always ALWAYS leads me to the light. What about my love? You all know how things ended with the former-love-of-my-life this year, but you know what? Things are looking up for me. I have learned to strengthen the love I feel for my self, the love I feel for my friends and family, but more importantly, the love I feel for God. As long as I can solidify this love-foundation I will never break down.
I also dwell on the following: 2010, while a wonderful year, was full of illusion. 2011, however, was a year of disillusion. Now, before you think, "Eww, disillusion. How depressing," I would like to explain a bit. This lovely lady, Mrs. Santos, from The Santos Times, once wrote (in more or less words) that disillusion is discovering that something is not what one believed. In other words, it's like snapping out of an illusion (which is a false idea or belief). Disillusion made 2011 especially tough, but at the end of the day---ahem, year---it's been a huge eye-opener. I enjoyed the euphoria resulting from the love I felt for the former-love-of-my-life and the great times we had, but it was all short-lived, and in retrospect, our "relationship" was destined to wither away. If I encounter this young man in the future again, I hope we can interact as friends. And if I don't see him ever again, well then, we had our time.
Now, do I have any resolutions for 2012? Not strict ones, but I do hope I can travel at least once---I'm thinking Seattle will make a great destination. Going back to school in the Fall of course. And continuing the yoga classes because they've been so much fun. An awesome job would be great, but I'm not in any hurry---God knows what I have to go through to get to the right place....And maybe, just maybe, the whole bicycle thing???? HOPEFULLY!
Nice knowing you, 2011, but I'm ready to meet 2012. I hope y'all have enjoyed this year---cherish the good (and not-so-good) memories---and I hope we all have better and bigger experiences in 2012. Next time I write, it'll be a new year! (Corny, I know, but it's true!)