Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Snooping Birds --- and Other Tiny Tidbits

It's Tuesday, and the weather has been love-ly! And the birds, well, the birds are just as amusing and adorable as ever. See for yourselves:

Just a couple of pigeons walking around, NBD.
It was but a charade. These seemingly innocent birds were making their way around the office perimeter. Oh sure, they were adorable, and I undividedly gave them my attention, when suddenly---CHOMP!---one of these innocent birds turned...FOWL. {Yes, yes, I was aching to use a bird pun. I apologize for choosing not to apologize for this bad pun.}

Anyway, I decided to make an MS Paint rendition of these curious creatures, and then, just because I could, I went ahead and inverted the colors. The end result:

I admit it: I might have a little bit too much free time.

So there y'all have it: my Tuesday in a nutshell. Oh wait, no you don't. I have another---kinda CREEPY---story to share. So last week, I had to make an appointment for a physical exam (long story, no real explanation needed, nothing serious or anything like that). First thoughts: I get to go to a lab and have blood drawn out and pee in a cup, etc. etc. Reality: the lab would come to me, to MY house, MY dwelling! I don't know about y'all, but when I go to a lab/doctor's office, I immediately go into "doctor-visit-mode" (as in, yes, I will pee in a cup, and no, I won't faint or shudder when I see my blood fill test tubes to the brim). But to have a stranger come into my home and do those same exact things...I dunno, my mind just couldn't calm down.

And you know what happens when you don't calm down...things go...awry. With me, this morning, it was the dreaded drawing of blood. Like I said, normally, drawing blood is no big deal. I'm tough, you know! And the nurse/technician/professional-blood-drawer is always proficient enough to easily find the right vein and quickly fill the tubes and be done with it all. This guy today, however, NOPE. He had a New Yorkean (sp?) accent, white hair, carried a roll-y luggage bag [filled with lots of medical goodies], and was (in kind words) pompous. "I've been doing this for 42 years! BLAH BLAH BLAH what happened to you today I only see about once or twice a month BLAH BLAH BLAH."

What happened, you ask? As the man stuck the needle in my left arm, all was going well, I could hear that little "WHOOSH" sound, signifying the test tube was becoming full, and suddenly, I hear, "Nope, that's no good. You're drying up. I'm gonna have to do this again." And as he was saying this, he kept trying with another test tube on the same vein.

His excuse? It went something like this: "Oh it's not my fault. I've been doing this for 42 years. If anything, it must be that you haven't had enough to drink, so you're dehydrated, and when the needle goes in and acts like a vacuum, the vein collapsed." Oh okay, Mr. Labman, it's my fault obviously, since I have inferiorly-constructed veins. Only not, since I've had this done many times before---even when I've gone longer without food or drink---and this thing never happened.

His solution? Let's do it again, ON THE OTHER ARM! (Now, I will admit, my right arm has bigger veins, so it was really really easy to fill all the test tubes again.) Shortly after though, I felt out of sorts, dizzy, like I was going to throw up. I had to lie down on the couch with my legs up to get the blood flowing. And Mr. Labman said again, oh yeah, I see this like 16 times a year, BLAH BLAH BLAH. Thanks Mr. Labman, thanks. Anyway, I'm better now, but the vein on my left arm looks a little beaten up, but no worries! In related news, I successfully peed in a cup. Not that y'all needed to know that, but you know how it is. No one likes to pee in a cup, especially when forced to on a constricted time frame.

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